"F" LaGuardia" - A Short Film
By Damian Dunn
AIRPORT WORKER 1: What the F' is that noise?
[TITTER TATTER SCURRY SCURRY ACROSS TERMINAL ROOF]
AIRPORT WORKER 2: My God. It is Moon Shadow. They have sent the
wrath of Chopstick upon us. Quick, Quick, the fuselage, we must....
[INTERUPTED BY NOISES AGAIN. THIS TIME CHOPSTICK DROPS OUT OF
THE SKY AND STARTS CHOPPING (RAPIDLY)]
AIRPORT WORKER 1: NOOOOOOOO!!!!
[CHOPSTICK SWOOPS DOWN TAKES PASSEGER 14'S HEAD OFF WITH ONE SNAP
OF HER DEADLY CHOPPING STICKS (BETWEEN FOREFINGER AND THUMB)]
PASSENGER 15: No, it's got passenger 14! No!!
PASSENGER 29: Now that's Jewish!
[CUT TO: NEWSPAPER HEADLINE MONTAGE]
"Moon Shadow Strikes Again."
"Airport Ravaged By Ravishing Oriental Chopsticking."
"Come Over -- Chop Chop."
"Chopstick Upset Over Stranded Moynahan."
"Head Lost. Thought To Be Passenger 14 (Hard To Tell Though)."
"LaGuardia - LaChopstickia"
"Airport In Shambles. Worse Than The Hydro Rape Of 1993."